You find out who you are not.
When I left Cleveland I left a lot. My immediate family, all that live there (the rest are still in ATL). All of my closest friends except the ones in GA and FL. I left my church. Huge for me. In a nutshell, I left my DNA. Everything and everyone that comprised who I was. And that is the point.
All of that, was who I was. And the who I was had completed her assignment in that capacity of life. My leaving was surrounding a lot of reasons. For most, I simply left it at new opportunities. One of which was the magazine, but that could be virtual. Another would most definitely be to pursue my music career, however my desire to be on stage has waned over time. I’m leaning more towards song writing and the other end of the industry. I will still perform. It’s just not the end all for my lifewalk.
My leaving? I was no longer satisfied with the me that I was. Now, I will never take credit from God. It was Him, after all, that supplied the resources, and people, and everything else that had to come into play. And it was Him that instilled in me a desire for a ‘more’ that I was not going to get in Cleveland. Ultimately however, it is my will, my choice, my decision to follow Him. So, I left. I know I surprised everyone, as I had been threatening to leave for years. I knew I would, I just didn’t know when. But I knew it was coming. Because while I love my friends and family and church, my existence there was more for their enjoyment than mine. And that is not a bad thing, that is just what it eventually culminated to. They enjoyed, and still enjoy me as a part of their lives. And I the same for them. I just could not continue to stay there as a condition of that enjoyment. They all know what I mean.
I made the statement at the top of this blog, because until you have gone someplace where you are out of your comfort zone, out of the security of the world that you have created for yourself, you will never truly know who you are. Because you have not experienced who you are not.
I have now officially been a Houstonian for about 2.5 months. The city is big. Compared to Cleveland, close to triple in size, especially since you can drive from the tip of Warrensville Hts. all the way to Columbus and it is the same distance from one end of Houston to the other. There is a feeling to this place. It’s FOCUSED. But more than that, it is different. The diversity here is Oz like compared to home. In my complex, and I live in the Westchase area near Galleria Mall, you will find white, black, asian, indian, latino, mexican. All living together, shopping together. Texas is a bible belt state, so there are lots of Christians. The people here are direct. They either like you and are friendly and speak, or they don’t And if they don’t, they just keep walking as if you were never there. I respect that. Totally. I am observing how they live and work together, and it takes a totally different mindset to do that compared to where I am from. And this is in no way a put down on Cleveland. It’s just different. And a difference that I have embraced and love.
In the short time I have been here, I have dealt with heartache and disappointment both from home and here. Life. But when the tears dried from this part of my path, I learned some more things about me. Things I will do, and won’t. Some will take courage to implement. Others, will take a determination to just do. I am looking forward to my next, and waiting to see what will happen in those areas that I must now adjust.
I encourage all of you who read this, to really examine your life. Are you happy in the life you have made? Is this what you believe you are to do with your life? And if it is not, what are you doing to change it?
Who are You? More importantly. Who are you NOT?